Are you willing to let go of Mr. “Right Now” in order to find Mr. “Right”?

Are you willing to let go of Mr. “Right Now” in order to find Mr. “Right”?

It’s so easy to end up staying in a relationship or relationships because they’re familiar and comfortable, but by holding on to Mr. “Right Now” you might be keeping yourself from being open to meeting your true Mr. “Right”.

In college, I had a long-term on and off again boyfriend and by most measures we had a great relationship. There was communication, trust, common interested, love and affection and lots of laughter. Every summer I’d head off on a grand adventure to do volunteer work, study abroad etc. Sometimes I’d meet someone new, break up with my long-term boyfriend, date and question our relationship, but in the Fall I always headed back home to college and my significant other…and we’d always get back together. I mean, he’s such a great guy and we had history together. It was like coming ‘home’ in more ways than one, but that comfort and familiarity also contributed to my becoming complacent about finding my true Mr. “Right”.

Over several years, our lives, families, and friends became so intertwined that even when I started to realize that it wasn’t the relationship I knew I truly wanted, I didn’t know how to ‘un-integrate’ our lives and still live in the same city. So, after college I accepted an amazing volunteer position overseas and decided to make a once-and-for-all transition to end this comfortable and familiar relationship. It wasn’t easy, but taking this step and putting distance between us created the space for me to reconnect to who I was and what I truly wanted.

After arriving back home two years later, I’d dated other guys, he’d moved on and there were new possibilities in the air. My willingness to let go of this secure good-for-now relationship in service of what I was really committed to took a leap of faith, but it was just what I needed to move me forward.

After a dating dry-spell I fell into the trap of another better-than-nothing dating relationship out of sheer loneliness which while exciting soon fizzled out and brought me back to the realization that my real path was finding my Mr. “Right” and not just another Mr. “Right Now”.

This is when everything changed. I’d let go of my long-term serious relationship and now ended my casual dating relationships with what I affectionately termed my ‘back-burner-boys’. You know, the guys you call on for a casual date, knowing full well that it’s not going anywhere long-term. Once I cleared out my Mr. “Right Nows” there was space for me to focus on meeting my Mr. ” Right” and shortly thereafter, I did, but I had to be willing to let go of my past relationships to embrace my future.

 

Single to Smitten Challenge:

Check in with yourself about your current relationship. Are you with a Mr. “Right Now”? Would you be willing to give him up in service of finding your Mr. “Right”? OR, do you have a bevy of casual ‘back-burner-boys’ that you call on when you’re lonely and just want to go out and have fun? Would you be willing to stop relying on them as ‘quick fixes’ in order to find your one-and-only Mr. “Right”?

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